Comments Students Make

When I tell others that I'm a high school teacher, the reactions are usually a mixture of sympathy and horror: "OMG, how do you do it? I don't have the patience." I then go on to explain that I enjoy my job, that one needs to learn to laugh at all the crazy things, and that kids are funny.

In fact, here are some of the best lines I have heard over the years. I'm also including test answers from F in Exams by Richard Benson.

• "Ms. J, did Shakespeare write this play on paper or stone tablets?"

• Once when teaching inferences, I began with a riddle: It's something a person makes and sells to others. The person who buys it never uses it and gives it away. The person who uses it, does not know he/she is using it. What is it? A student replied by saying, "Is it an STD?!" Gotta love it. By the way the correct answer is a coffin.

• A kid who had not done his reading asked, "How do I use a quote from the movie?"
  

• I asked kids the social expectations placed on women during the 50s. A student replied by saying, "They made sandwiches."

Though the following do not come from my students, I think these quotes are fab:

• Describe the chemical difference between H2O and CO2? ------H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.

• What happens during puberty to a boy?------he says goodbye to his childhood and enters adultery.

• Is the moon or the sun more important?----The moon gives us light at night when we need it. The sun only provides light in the day when we don't need it. Therefore, the moon is more important.

• Explain the phrase "free press."-------When your mom irons pants for you.

• What happens during a census?----During the census a man goes from door to door and increases the population.

• Express the term "stereotype?"------It is the kind of CD player you own.

• Explain the word "migration?"----A migration is a bad headache.

• Discuss the style of Romeo and Juliet.----It is in Islamic pentameter. The play is full of heroic couplets, one example being Romeo and Juliet.

Gray Hair

On my 24th birthday, I discovered my first official wrinkle, a smile line on only the left side of my mouth. This one little wrinkle was devastating! For one, I realized that for years I did not smile; I smirked. That's probably why people thought I was bitchy. Instead of smiling at their funny comments, I smirked!

Now a different revelation has come to light. I discovered my first gray hair. Over night, a long strand of pure white hair grew on the left side of my head. Obviously, my left side is cursed. The question now is: Do I color my hair or let nature take its course? On a more philosophical stand, do I hold on to my youth or grow older (not old) gracefully? (I'm sure this is how Hamlet felt during his "To be or not to be" soliloquy).

Can you spot the gray hair?

Pre-gray hair, I vowed that I would not dye gray hairs. I found the look beautiful, distinguished, regal. But now, I feel older (not old!). When discussing the issue with my hair dresser, I mentioned that I wanted a new look, something that would make me look 26. She laughed in response. Laughed! Maybe it's time to find a new hair dresser. Regardless, I need to make a decision about my hair--to dye or not to dye that is the question.

After an exhausting debate with myself, I have decided to stay with my original decision. I will leave the gray and embrace my new beautiful, distinguished, regal, and slightly older look!

Homemade Beer

Hubby making beer:
Yes, I am the self-proclaimed best wife ever! Last September, I gave my hubby a beer making kit. From there, he began reading beer-making books, recruiting friends, and making his own beer!

I find it all so hot and sexy that I feel like a groupie at a concert. I ask questions; I'm an official testers, though I know nothing about beer; and I encourage him as much as possible. Best of all, his concoction is really catching on. My hubby and his beer-making partner served homemade beer at the Christmas party and will serve their home brew at my baby shower!

Here are a few informative beer-making resources--just in case you want to make your own beer.

Beer Wars:

Great documentary on the beer-making industry. I thought dancers were catty!

Beer-making kit:

I purchased the starters kit from a local beer-making supply store. Everyone was extremely helpful and friendly. In fact, I have noticed that those involved with the beer or wine making process are normally great people to be around. I wonder why?

Beer Making for Dummies:

Those familiar with the series know that this is an easy to follow and informative source.

Brewing TV:

I found this while looking for Podcasts. The hosts are informative and entertaining.

Beer-making shops:

• Oak Barrel in Berkeley
  
• San Francisco Brewcraft in San Francisco
• More Beer in Concord and Los Altos
  

Hubby and partner at Trumer Beer Company:

I love that my hubby's partner brought his little baby to the tour :)

Valentine Gifts

Business Card:

I'm a strong believer that we MUST celebrate special days. It makes others feel special and adds interest to our days. But with my busy life, I, at times, let special days go by without giving it much attention :(

Last year for Valentine's Day, I got my hubby a shitty last-minute gift. I was feeling overwhelmed by the demands of life and did not put much thought into the gift. I felt awful and the fact that I can't even remember what I got him makes it worse.

This year, I'm going to redeem myself. Though I'm not sure what I will give him, I do have a few ideas in mind.

Popcorn maker and Pay Per View
In the past, I have given friends and family an old school looking popcorn maker. Later, they tell me of fun movie nights and popcorn binges.
For my hubby, I'm hoping to add umph to the gift by purchasing a Pay Per View event. He can make popcorn, serve home-made beer and have friends over to watch a fight or special event.

Watch with glitz
As a Brazilian man, my hubby loves watches. To make it better, he loves large, glitzy watches. It's this ghetto fab side that I love so much!

Business Cards
As of now, this is my top choice. Now that my hubby is engrossed in his beer-making projects, I'm thinking of making simple business cards with his name and hobby written on it. He can then give cards away to friends and fellow brewers. Who knows?! Brahma, Brazil's number one beer, may end up asking him to become a professional testers.

Carnivore and Herbivore

Cooking Class:
Attentive Student:
The flambe was obviously way over my head!
My father is from Rio Grande do Sul, beef capital of Brazil, so logically meat dishes have always been present in my life. In fact, like the aunt in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, my dad would make chicken as a substitute for beef. Only recently, did he begin appreciating vegetarian dishes.

Like my father, I am clueless when it comes to meatless dishes. I have enjoyed vegetarian meals but I must say I'm a little ignorant when it comes to preparing them. How do you cook without meat? Better yet, how do you live?

After explaining my dilemma to a friend, she gave me Vegan Planet, a vegan cookbook. Let me start by saying that going from being a carnivore to an herbivore is beyond difficult! No wonder the T-Rex is extinct. He couldn't handle a broccoli and brown rice diet. Everything becomes a steak and the fact that I can't have one drives me insane.

I realized that though I wanted to adopt a healthier eating style, going cold turkey (meat references are all over) was not the answer. Like a crackfiend, I need an occasional fix, a piece of bacon, a fried egg, a BBQ. I finally reached a compromise. I opted for a few meatless dishes once a week...OK, once in a while. I have to start somewhere.

Needless to say, I will never be a vegetarian or vegan, but I like to think that a meatless diet, once in a while, will help improve my health, my family's health, and the health of the planet.

I'm please to say that it has been working. On meatless nights, I make fish (not really a meat) OR use meat substitutes. Again, I gotta start somewhere.



Below is my favorite vegan dish:
Black Bean and Butternut Squash Chili

• Olive Oil
• 1 chopped onion
• 1 minced garlic clove
• One 14.5 oz of chopped and drained tomatoes
• 1 cup of water
• 1 cup of apple juice
• 1/4 cup of tomato paste
• 2 tb of chili powder (I omit the chili powder)
• Salt
• 1 diced butternut squash
• 3 cups or two 15 oz cans of black beans, drained and rinsed

Directions:

• Saute the onions and garlic for 5 minutes. Add the remaining ingredients, except the black beans. Cover and cook for 30 minutes. Add the beans, simmer it for 15 minutes, and adjust the seasoning, if needed. Serve hot.
  

Like a true carnivore, I'm also including my favorite Brazilian meat dish--yum!
Brazilian Strognonoff

• 2 tablespoons butter shopping list
• 1 white onion minced shopping list
• 1 clove garlic minced shopping list
• 1 teaspoon salt shopping list
• 1 pound white cultivated mushrooms shopping list
• 1 pound beef cut into small cubes shopping list
• 2 tablespoons ketchup shopping list
• 1/2 cup sour cream

Directions:

• Lightly fry the beef with the butter, onion, garlic and salt in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add 1 cup of water to make a thick sauce then add remaining ingredients except sour cream and ketchup. Cook for 5 minutes and check meat for doneness. When done add sour cream and ketchup. Mix briefly and serve with potato sticks and white rice.

Since I like meat, I'm including a second meat dish, Lomo Saltado. This is such a tasty Peruvian dish!
LOMO SALTADO (PERUVIAN STIRFRY)

• 1 lb sirloin or tenderloin, cut into bite size pieces--You can replace the sirloin with chicken, shrimp, or tofu.
  
• 1 small onion, cut into strips
• 1 large tomato, cut into strips
• 1 large hot pepper, seeded and cut into strips
• salt
• pepper
• 2 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1/4 cup dry red wine
• 2 tablespoon lime juice
• 1/4 cup chopped cilantro
• French fries

Directions:

• Place the cut meat in a bowl or dish, and season it with salt, pepper, a little bit of olive oil, lime juice, and chopped garlic. Let marinate for at least 20 minutes.
• Sauté meat over high heat for a few minutes until meat is no longer pink. Lower temperature to medium and add first the onion. Cook, stirring for 1 minute and then stir in the tomatoes and peppers. Cook until the onions are tender.
  
• Add the red wine and the cilantro. Cook for one more minute. Toss in the French fries and serve with white rice.

You must watch Food Inc. It changed many of my eating habits.

Best Carnaval Roles

As Brazilians like to say, New Year's Eve is the first cry of Carnaval. From January until the day of the parade, Canavalescos, Carnaval participants, rehearse, work on tan lines, and get ready for the special day. It is, after all, one of the largest competitions in Rio de Janeiro. The winning samba school not only gets the prestige of being the best samba school in Rio but also a significant cash prize.

But really, what is Carnaval without the amazing costumes? Below are photos of my favorite outfits and roles.

Porta Bandeira and Mestre de Sala. This is one of the most prestigious positions a samba school member can have. PB and MdS have the honor of carrying the school's flag, and unlike other parade members, there is only one male and one female PB and MdS for the whole school. The coveted position is often passed down from generation to generation, staying within the family for years.

Madrinha da Bateria (Godmother of the Band). The MdB holds one of the most glamorous positions in a samba school. Throughout the parade, she marches down the Sambodromo, the designated parade street, in front of the band. Her job, in addition to looking fab, is to excite the crown and dance her ass off. Since all eyes are on her, the pressure is on to look amazing in ever way.

Baianas. I love the role of the baianas. Normally, B are older women who have been members of the samba school for years. They are dedicated members who, behind the scenes, do most of the sewing and costume making for other members. Though the costumes are typically long skirts, each year, costume designer incorporate new designs, colors, and accessories that make the costume beautiful and glamorous.

Globeleza. Yeas ago, Globo, Brazil's top television network, began hosting competitions in search of someone who would serve as the face of Carnaval. For 10 years, Valeria Valencia held the position. Today, Globo hosts a yearly competition to find the right woman. She, in nothing but body paint, appears in commercials that promote the parade and remind me why I need to eat more brown rice and broccoli.

Literacy and Kids

I'm fortunate to have a daughter who loves to read. Ever night, she selects 3 of her favorite books, we lay in my bed, and we read together. During this time, I assess her reading skills by asking simple comprehension questions. I'll point to a horse and call it a cow. She immediately corrects me--this is a fun game!

e-books:

At the library:

Though she loves to read, I like to keep the excitement and importance of reading constant. We visit the library once a month so to check out new books. I make it a point of letting her check out and return the books--she loves doing this. I also make it a point to give her a book as a gift on her birthday and Christmas. I want her to think of reading as a fun activity and not a task she needs to complete.

I do this because I am well aware of the benefits of reading. Regularly, I tell my students that a good reader is a good writer, speaker, and thinker. As a teacher, it's clear which of my students read for pleasure. They often have a more elaborate vocabulary and writing and critical thinking skills than students who seldom read. Studies also show that students who enjoy reading do better academically. Go figure!

Here are some of Camila's favorite books and a great article on literacy and kids. I'm also including an article on parent involvement and academic success and on Finland's school success--it has strategies the U.S. educational system should consider. Enjoy.

• Goodnight Moon. Since birth, I have read this book to Camila. She loves it and knows all the words. I read that the consistency and repetitiveness of reading the same book helps kids build their confidence. By knowing the book well, the kid feels confident letting mom know what will happen next.

• Search and Find books. This type of book allows kids to look at an item on a picture bank and then identify it in the story. Since there are few words, I end up making elaborate stories before asking Camila to find the pictures.

• Daddy's Girl by Garrison Keillor. Both Camila and I love this book. The little protagonist has curly hair like Camila. On one page, the little girl is without a diaper so Camila and I make it a big deal that her tushy is showing.

FYI: In the past, I read an article encouraging parents to tell stories to their kids. According to the article, which I can't find online, kids who enjoy listening to stories told by their parents get some of the same benefits as those who read with their parents. Since young kids are still too young to actually read and decipher words, they pay attention to the narration of the story and from there build their cognitive skills. In other words, you don't always need to read a book. Use your imagination and create a story in which your kid is the protagonist ready to save the world!

Growing Belly

Rutabaga

Each week, I receive an email letting me know how my baby is developing. The size of the baby is always compared to a fruit or vegetable. This week, my 13" developing baby is a rutabaga (It's a beet-looking vegetable--I had to look it up).

What the email fails to say is that my rutabaga baby is made out of lead! Really, all of a sudden, my belly and size are overwhelmingly noticeable to me. I feel huge, clumsy, and exhausted. I can no longer see my feet, which are now in a constant 45 degree angle so to accommodate my waddle. When practicing my Warrior pose, I feel like a sumo wrestler getting ready for battle. I am big and getting bigger!

To make matters worst, my loving hubby said, as I walked passed him, "Being pregnant must really be uncomfortable." No, shit! I don't want to over react or make assumptions, but he only came to this eye-opening conclusion after seeing me struggle to get up from the sofa and waddle my way past him.

Now a bigger question comes to mind--was he trying to say something or am I reading too much into it? Since I'm a loving wife with raging hormones, I'm going to assume the latter. Simply, it's like the time he asked, "Does it really hurt?" This after I gave birth to my daughter. I replied by saying that "I wished I could leave my body."

To ease my mind and since I am a loving wife, I'm going to say that my loving husband had no clue of what he was saying. He was overwhelmed by the miracle of childbirth and my overwhelmingly large tummy, right?

Allergic to Vacation

I am feeling lazy, sleepy, and unmotivated. Clearly, I'm allergic to vacation.

When I'm working and have little time, I am motivated and productive. I complete lists, with an S, of things I want and need to do. In fact, the busier I am, the longer the lists. This is how I ease my frustration and disappointment for not having time to get things done. I go as far as scheduling time for specific tasks; and bam! a task is done. But vacation throws me off. I get lazy.

To combat my lethargy, I decided to create a list of things to do:

• Nap time in the early afternoon. This is a must since I need energy for the other tasks.

• Read my novel in bed. By staying in bed, I am merging two tasks into one. In case I am exhausted from my nap, I am able to complete my reading task by napping with the book next to me.

• Commute to the sofa. I personally think that commuting is one of the biggest injustices anyone can do to oneself. However, I am willing to make this sacrifice in the name of productivity. Once in the new location and after a pit stop at the bathroom and kitchen, I will proceed to the final destination, the sofa. Since all my favorite shows are hibernating for the winter, I will expand my cultural knowledge by watching the Kardashians.

My behavior is contagious!

The above are the three must do tasks of the day. Of course there will be variations and adjustments made, but I'm hoping to successfully complete the tasks during the allocated time. Wish me luck!

Baby-Free Day

Years ago, pre-parenthood, I asked a good friend what he and his wife did on date night (a concept I did not understand until I had kids of my own). He replied that he and his wife liked going to Macy's to look at furniture. Furniture! What happened to dancing, dinner, movies, drinks at an awesome lounge? Needless to say, I did not understand his choice of entertainment.

I'm now a parent and fully understand the trials and tribulations of parenthood. My parents kidnapped my daughter for 3 days and 2 nights. According to my childless friends, I now should be living it up, going out, enjoying life! The truth, however, is that my husband and I really miss our little Camilusca. In fact, her departure was bitter-sweet. As my father drove off with her, tears filled our eyes but the prospect of waking up at anytime and going to Macy's to look at furniture gave us a feeling of excitement.