Pet Peeves

It has come to my attention that at times I'm too perky. My comments are nice and my deliveries are polite.

In my defense, I'm a teacher and dancer, which means I hold political positions. I can't say, "WTF, did you write this s***? Are you out of your f****** mind." Or "Girl, don't tell me you are performing in that. It makes your butt look like the Goodyear Blimp." I need to approach things differently. My comments have to be something like, "I enjoyed your essay but let's talk about how we can make it better" or "Great costume, but I think a different color would look better on you." Political, baby!

To combat this overwhelming niceness that I can only attribute to my pregnancy, I am posting a few of the things that bug the crap out of me.

1. Adults who don't understand Karate Kid and Coming to America references--"Is this velvet?"
I know this is a little dated, but come on. Allusions to KK and CtA are all over the place. Everyone should know "wax on, wax off." Chris Brown sings about it in "Look at Me Now." If I'm not mistaken, Mr. Darcy mentions it in Pride and Prejudice--duh!

2. When someone eats my last piece
My father was notorious for this. I would leave the last shrimp, egg yolk, or buttered bread for last and my dad would snatch it like a thief in the night. Worst of all, he felt no shame! I would then consoled myself by thinking that it was an isolated event that would never happen outside of my family. Well, I was wrong. Friends, or so called friends, also do the same, but they disguise it by saying, "Can I have some?" This behavior bothered me so much that I had to change my eating style. I now eat the best first. If someone is going to enjoy my last shrimp, it better be me!

3. When people refer to grown ass women as girls
Silly, I know. But really, should I refer to Betty White as the girl on Golden Girls? NO, she is a grown ass woman. We don't refer to grown men as boys so why should women not receive the same respect. By the way, here is a great quote by the girl I just mentioned.

4. When students say, "You gave me an F!"
Students forget that grades are earned and not given. It's on my syllabus--yes, it is! In fact, i often want to say, "I did not give you an F. You earned an F."

Maybe I'm asking for too much, but I think that we need to be held accountable for our behavior. If the kid fails to turn in most of his/her assignment all semester, the final will not miraculously bump him/her from an F to a C. Come on! It's basic math; zero assignments plus nothing completed equals an F.

5. Cascading Toilet Paper
Really, it should be common sense that the toilet paper falls from the top; it needs to cascade down. The end of the toilet paper should not be at the bottom of the roll. It's against gravity. After the apple fell on Issac Newton's head, he confirmed the laws of gravity by looking at the cascading toilet paper. Really, this is a no brainer.